Prayer is an odd thing, don't you think? I pray for all kinds of things: my own peace, healing for many people, comfort for those who are suffering, patience, changes in me and others, a feeling of love for others, thanksgiving, a closer understanding of God and a better connection of knowing Him. My prayer life can be pretty selfish much of the time, which I'd like to change. Really, most of the time, I pray for a number of things and get somewhat lost in the confusion of it all. And I wonder if it helps at all. So, I'd say my faith is there about 75% of the time - I sure wish it were more.
I gave thanks as a prayer for my mom's healing this week, because a wound that was so bad we could actually see her Achilles tendon is now healed! That is a blessing worth every good prayer to God that I can muster. Where we were worried about some tragic outcome, a surgeon stepped in to open up a vessel for blood to flow. And that made all the difference. I remember being in that hospital room when we found out it could be done. I had to leave the room so my mother didn't see my tears of gratitude, and to send my faithful friends texts of the wonderful news (I didn't want my mom to see how choked up I got while she was lying there in her hospital bed). This healing is a miracle, and I thank all my friends for their prayers. My mom called me this week to let me know that the scab of the wound had fallen off and the wound was healed. You can imagine the relief in her voice and in my heart.
But then two days later, we heard some medical news about my mom's younger brother being admitted to the hospital. The outcome is still unknown as I write this, and without going into too much detail, it's really hard to pray right now. I don't know what God has planned, so I am just praying for God's presence and love to be with my uncle and the medical staff. To know that others are praying helps too.
Once again though, my prayer seems a bit wobbly, persistent yet shaky. I guess that's what faith is: praying anyway.
I have to add one more thing though, on a completely different note. When hearing preachers' sermons the last couple of weeks, I really loved one thing - as they preached about God's love, healing, and power, they both said faith in all of this is "RIGHT NOW"! I love that. I have to admit that my faith is there, but in a weird way. My faith sometimes thinks the blessings and love are off in some mirky future, but the sermons I heard woke up my faith to be in the current moment. That's what I need, and that's what I actually think is the truth too.
God is the God of RIGHT NOW. He can change things, or enter a heart, or give some wisdom right now. I really like that. Hope you do too.
I won't go into the blessings of the week, but know that they were there. I hope they were for you too. XO :)